Ugh
The bugs are everywhere
I know it sounds funny,
But you have got to stop running so fast
Said Rutherford.

Lets be friends
It was unaware time aboard the craft.
Neat rows of cylindrical plastic held aloft our
boaty friends

Fortunately Stan stepped in with an inane story
Rutherford was irritated,
And then it was on their way for Jacinda and the cardboard chieftain Oreos.

All breathed a sigh of relief
As the irritated reader finally picked up where he left off.
Or did they?
The departing Rutherford could be seen
Jacinda screamed, and everything went black.
Stan said:
{AOFw94 cs>>>>&>>>{{}
It was fucking bizarre as shit
The reader cursed enthusiastically and burned the novella
This was just fucking awful.
Dammit, Dammit!! He screamed.
Why can't there be some blankity blank resolution

Jacinda and the flowercatchers
Awoke the next morning on the same dock with stan
The reader was gone, and so was Rutherford.

Gooogaloch

Jacinda only made it halfway
Before running into Rutherford
I bet she didn't realize what was in store
I bet she never thought she could be lost

Among the reeds there was a baby
No one could remember her name
And they swore up and down that it wasn't right
But the informed reader simply sighed
Closing the book in frustration, he wasn't sure
what the hell was going on.

But Jacinda and the whale watchers
Now given the distraction of a warty amphibian
Were pressed up against a confused beam of omnipresence
As Rutherford, and his fishing boat arrived

The display of lasers between the boats was stunning
But no one spoke or moved
All hearts sank, except for of course the god of the lost,
Rutherford, who's heart swelled with joy
Fellow travelers, thought he!
Yet to keep them in this state, I must not utter a sound
Nor speak.

Ben, in a moment of common brilliance
Shined a light at the front of the boat,
We now see that the boats name is Pauline.
Nothing heaver than a little less than 16
Was in the air between them

Two Polar Bears

Simmering boiling seething tiredness
I am more stressed than I can imagine
It is utterly hopeless, this game
Where I am cut off, yet held in at the same time

Tworking twisting working until I am brass
In the randomest but most ___________
Shape possible
It is a shit storm of epic proportions
That brings me to where I am now

Riding over the waves of filth.
Trying to discern the good from the rotten
When that is like comparing the difference
between two polar bears.

I guess its apparent, but you have to think.
You have to fucking think
You can't take it on faith,
Because what passes for faith is often hollow words
Thoughts have meanings, thoughts reveal the truth.
One can smile and smile and still be a douche bag

I am trying to figure it out
But a douche bag I will remain to some
This is the most confusing aspect of life.
Though I try to be all things to all men and women
I am fallen short to a degree in all things

Garbanzo beans, and a wheel of cheese
Set the afternoons proceedings off right
This special feeling that gatherings
Of five uncomfortable people that could not converse
On any particular topic for longer than two minutes
Well, it was a feeling for pictures

And today was for some reason happening
No one could say why,
But they had rather be with Randy or Jean right now
And Randy was fat
Jean was stupid
and no one here was.
but everyone was....existent

It took five minutes to get upon that topic
Which everyone can converse upon
But only Bill liked sports.
And they were all in agreement to differing degrees
That the next president should be a socialist
Yet, no one knew who the next candidate would be
Only that they to differing degrees hated the current man.

It was as if the conversation
was a young man that had been sent to Vietnam.

Greatness was briefly disputed,
For some supported Ceasar,
Others supported Walt Disney,
Still others supported the greatness of Randy Johnson

Food was a topic of brief discussion.
But no one really wanted to share their opinion
for all hated the current fare save Stan

At long last Bill said "anyone want to play a game."
Flatly
A command

Stan wanted Halo
Brenda wanted cribbage
Carleen wanted to play candyland
And Saeed was quite content to do whatever.

Lonely Cows

Gravy covers all things mashed
But not my heart
And turkey is the mornings new friend
As I rise from bed nude on a Sunday
With a five o clock shadow
And a throbbing sensation in my skull

Conjuring life death, and perhaps a bit of parsely
We never thought that time could give way
To such a ghastly apparation as this
Burned buildings where none wander
On hills in nondescript countrysides
Non descript because
Though I have seen them a thousand times,
I have not a clue where they are
Or why it is always spring there.
Or why the cows are so alone.

The desert

Towering aerial rivulets of gold
Marked an end to a long travesty
Through barren shelfs of sandstone
and mounds of crushed rocks
That had been scorned by the wind
Till they like our minds
were no longer minds or rocks
Thirsty? No, not now as we barged into the
Cave
Glistening pools that had never been touched
except for the beak of an owl on its last legs
of loneliness.

Returning from the opening of the black lagoon
We set our eyes on the walls to the south
No one dared say a word lest we
We didn't know.
anything.

A long pause broke the still, blank, afternoon.
Waves of hot air distorted the moonscape behind us.

A lame song

Jacinda and the boatsmen
Finally arrived at the marsh of dead reeds
When out of a perpendicular alignment complex
Stepped none other than a wily toad named steve

Last night I fancied myself a leprechaun
Nude, a whale or perhaps a dracula
But in reality I was nothing of the sort
Just the ending of a fresh dream of snow and falling

Said Steve

It was a curious meeting
For none other than James
Found the fresh amphibian interesting
Rather, they found him aloof and brooding
A twentieth century painting by a man on acid

But James had seen the light
And he pointed it out to his grey capped friends
As it streaked over the water towards them
illuminating their brown coats and scintillating epaulets

The skiff arrived at precisely nine thirty pm in the dark
And it slowed as it neared our drifting conversationalists
The boatmen were still established with Steve,
And scarcely had the morning dawned on their ids
Yet James noticed and he saw the light of the approaching
Motorized
Aluminum
Plastic
Floating
Bilge Pump.
Fishhook

The soft beam of a bulb
returned the glare
And a menacing pair of glowing slits jumped back at James
Such interchange of eeire light
Jacinda shuddered

Free!

Oh yes!
I am finally free of everything
Exactly like someone that is no longer considering
The prospect of a life without mountains or some such bullshit.

Everything is cerulean and tan.
The sea foam brings in memories
of being oppressed by pregnant expectation!
And its your fault that I am napping here,
but you don't even fucking care! for that I love you.
I am free, a sea sponge.
Maybe a slice of sea bread.
And now, they are memories.

Wave after wave of waves
Mixed with contentment
and maybe a stiff drink

Here, no one can say to me: I cannot believe!
There is nothing wrong with you why?
I guess it hasn't been your time yet

Its my time now, and from now on.
I am triumphant as a triumphant person.
With no simile.

I am left at the base of a cliff with the starfish
I just want some more.

(c) 2008 Joe Asbridge

A self potrait

Most people want to be huge
But I want to be powerful.

Where some puff themselves up
I condense
I coagulate until I am stronger
Like Uranium

Where some create empires of life
And write bragging rights down to inspire
I give not a damn about greatness
Understanding is far more explanatory

The French invent all of the cool words
Yet they remain reviled by men with buck teeth and straw hats
And douche bags that don't like France.
I think of all these thoughts
Yet nothing seems to be happening

(c) 2008 Joe Asbridge

Burping loudly like a train
The boy saw his reflection upside down in the puddle
On a Friday
It was probably January or maybe even raining
Certainly though this was an unexpected halcyon event

For sometimes, being a precocious young man
He would sit for hours, watching the leaves blow by
On shimmering afternoons in silence
But today was too blitzed to even start.

No austere is too nice of a term, today was shit
And more importantly, as the rivulets collected
into this low hulking ground mass
that served as a disfigurement clause
He thought "I am finally a man"

Not scared of life
Not as scared of death,
And (to the reflection) certainly not scared of you anymore.
I found the answer in the hidden places that few see
But many call home. And when I finally came up for air, I breathed.
Finally as a new person, despite this wretched weekend.

(c) 2008 Joe Asbridge

Furtherless

Its just so cold to be called by another's name
When what you want
what you need,
is your own.

It's not hard to make games of constellations

While you are alive
you hold your head, a knife in the sky
and you say
Where do I go?
This better just be intermission

But maybe,
Life is furtherless
The vessel of choice I have become will suffice for now.

(c) 2008 Joe Asbridge

Steve

Morphing to become the most powerful of all the rangers,
Steve oddly considered that at such a time as this
it might not be appropriate to be caught
in the nude
on his porcelain perch

But to no avail
Swirling loops of water enveloped his
fear of the true identity being discovered
And thusly he left the command room.

(c) 2008 Joe Asbridge

Cue up the Cymbals and Horns

CUE UP THE CYMBALS AND HORNS, CAUSE THIS IS THE DESERT BITCH!!!!

(c) 2008, Joe Asbridge

A Bird Flew in the Cabaret

A bird flew in the cabaret
and spread filth everywhere
shattered glass, screaming dancers
and men that casually paced from the room to get their bags

It was a fucking mess,
but wait the jokes not over!

"I wish I was on the path to love,
but instead I keep getting bogged down by bird shit"
Bemoaned a bedraggled dancer

And the bird's beak was bitchin' sharp.

(c) 2008 Joe Asbridge